You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
