i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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