The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
