If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
