so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
