I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How does one acquire holy water?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
