shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
