I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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