He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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