So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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