so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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