i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.