I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.