So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
pop tarts are not kleenex
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty