fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.