I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
