U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
