I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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