everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
