He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
