we're blogging at a bar
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
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at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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