Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
