When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
