Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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