Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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