I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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