I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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