Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize