My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
