help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
