it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
