I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
