If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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