dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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