You really coming over, don't trick.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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