I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
