I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
