I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
