I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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