I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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