Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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