I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
