Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
