Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
