im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
you had me at cake vodka
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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