I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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