Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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