We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
