She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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