Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
