do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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