Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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