just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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