I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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