Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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