She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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