I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
