I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
