sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i think my cat just said my name.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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