i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
