He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
