Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
