what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
