Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
